Kampungkayell

Food, life, and fun in my "kampung,"(village), KL (Kuala Lumpur). Did I mention "food?"

Couple-dom

By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy

My belief in couple-dom has been revitalised, restored, and otherwise reinvigorated.

Actually, not that it ever needed revitalising, restoration, or reinvigoration.

Hmmm...

I've always believed that the most successful relationships were based on mutual trust, a certain amount of compromise and 3 very important attributes; the right time, the right place, AND not necessarily the most important factor, the right person.

Those who believe in Hollywood's notion of "amour" must be up in arms about now.

How can the right person NOT be the MOST important attribute?

Simple really...

People, I believe, are inherently good. However, in their bringing up and experiences, most people are TAUGHT to act out in fear rather than in love. It takes greater courage to act on the latter than the former. People who say "I need to protect myself by cutting my losses" needs to perhaps think "what is the right thing for me to do which will help the other realise what needs to be done." We can only control our own actions, after all.

In any case, more often than not, if both parties are willing to work things out as they go along, cross each bridge as they come to it, live day by day, rather than wondering about some far off nebulous future, they really have a pretty decent chance at success.

Don't you just luuurrrrve the effusive use of cliches?

The wisest thing I ever heard about being "married" was what my Uncle said at his 40th wedding anniversary; "Bernie (my aunt, Bernadette) and I woke up in the morning, took the kids to school, went to work, came home, put dinner on the table, went to sleep, and the next thing you know, it's 40 years later."

I took it to mean that they lived one day at a time, worked out each problem as it came up, negotiated every settlement, accepted that the other person doesn't ALWAYS come up to the the mark of what we expect in EVERY area, and more than anything, lived in a spiritual environment of wanting to work things out!

Christmas and New Year was a period when Allan and I were invited to a 25th Wedding Anniversary, a 17th Anniversary, a possible civil union in the UK, and to meet a new couple here in KL.



Suffice to say; Paddy and Jo, you are an inspiration of steadfastness and love.



Ian and Jogy; your courage has helped you cross continents to be with each other. If that isn't a testament to love in action, I don't know what is.



Petra and Jackson, for being loving and accepting of Allan and myself, and for being such a wonderful light for companionship and loyalty after so many years, we admire and aspire to your spirituality and attitude.



Dan & Chui; to the best "bro-in-law" and "sis-in-law" a guy ever had. Live long and prosper. ;-) Next dive trip we promise we'll go. But I'm looking forward to Siem Reap! Their secret...do stuff together that they love!





Loved these 2 pics of Sean and Whye Mun with Allan and I respectively. So included them in this post too.

2 Comments

Hi nigel

Cool blog you have here.

I agree with you on the ingredients of keeping a relationship alive and going.

Ooh, and I want to go to Siam Reap this year too!

Anyway, all the best to you and Allan. ;P

some great pics. happy new year!

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