By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
Decisions that I make regarding anything I post on this blog or what people choose to post in terms of comments etc are usually guided by one very simple rule.
Do unto others...
I choose to post under my name because I believe that if people don't agree with me, then they know who to come and tell off. ;-)
Kampungkayell is, for lack of a better phrase, a window into my life. For better or for worse, warts and all, it's garnered a new group of friends and its helped me understand other people better and perhaps become more empathetic.
It is also a responsibility. For me. A responsibility in the sense that there are people out there, friends and those who don't know me who will agree (periodically) or disagree (periodically) with positions I take and opinions I express. They need to know that they can debate this with me. At the end of the day, I'm all for changing my mind PROVIDED someone can persuade me that my position or opinion merits a change of mind. And it also helps me think through many things because I believe that BEFORE I express an opinion I'd better have thought it out thoroughly based on my beliefs and experience and education.
After all, the opinions I express are only worth their salt BECAUSE of who I am and what I stand for. If I don't attach my name to it, they're as much hot air. People who change minds are those who are not afraid to state what they believe and stand by it with their names, until a better way is shown to them.
Because of this, I've changed my settings on my blog to disallow anonymous comments.
And no, the last anonymous commenter on the previous post is NOT the one who prompted this change. Its a change that has been coming for sometime and something I've thought about for a bit. Though I must admit, the anonymous commenter was the one who brought that thought to the fore again. I believe, that whereever you are, whether in real life or in cyberspace, your name needs to stand for something. If you don't choose to put your name to it (and there are legal reasons you might choose not to; not just because you don't want to be known) then don't post it.
People need to value themselves more and believe that what they say counts for something. Even if they think it sounds silly. Because what they say IS who they are, they should attach their names to it. Besides, opinions expressed need to have accountability and responsibility. In ANYTHING that we choose to do. People need to be able to come back to you and say "look, that's great" or "look, I don't agree with you."
Otherwise, why even bother?
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
In the short time that I've been on God's good earth, I've learnt one or two things. Not many, just one or two.
One, my mother taught me. Make sure that for everything you do and say, you are able to face the mirror in the morning and honestly say, "I did my best."
Two, actually flows on from one, be honest, but be compassionate. That, Allan taught me.
These two things rule my life, be it in my personal relationship with Allan or with my business and employees, or with my friends and family.
I must admit, that I don't succeed all the time. But it's the failure that has reminded me to constantly strive. Not the successes. All this in my more rational and lucid moments of course.
The newspapers today had a story about bloggers and how they're forming an association with the backing of the National Union of Journalists.
Then, I read in unkaleong's blog, a very interesting entry on free speech. And then, I read what prompted it. Read the comments on that entry.
Together, they prompted this entry.
To summarise, the comments were a diatribe on our current system of racial governance and how the non-malays got the short end of the stick. And I believe one person who emigrated (purportedly) was trumpeting how the grass is truly greener on the "other side."
The invective spouting from those comments are nothing new. Most of us know the limitations of our system and we also know the flawed (my opinion) logic, that created that system. However, while not wishing to appear like an apologist for our present system, IMHO, we need to stand by our opinions whenever possible.
How do you do that?
Very simply, by appending your name to your opinion. If you choose to proffer an opinion on how things are run or should be run or done, then attach a name and a contact. Anonymity is not an option. You have been given an opportunity through SOMEONE ELSE'S BLOG (I found it reprehensible that they don't even want to make their profiles clickable so that there is an opportunity to refute them in private) to make your opinion known. At least have the balls to say who you are, where you're from, and how you can be reached, so that if people disagree with you, they can tell you!
Or is your opinion so fragile that it won't stand up to scrutiny or debate?
Belief is a powerful thing. Belief MAKES our reality. What we think and what we do and who we are as people and as loving family members and as partners and as business owners et al, is all predicated on how we CHOOSE to think.
If you feel that a glass of water is half full, it is. If you choose to believe that a glass of water is half empty, it also is true.
Furthermore, if you choose you have been hard done by, you will be. And so on.
I've lived in the UK and the US for 15 of my formative years from the time I was 12 going on 13. I returned home when I was 28 thinking that the West was the bees knees and that everything there was somehow better or more "developed."
It's not.
They have their issues and problems, just like we do. They have their everyday challenges in life like we do.
As far as I'm concerned, Allan and I know one thing. We've chosen to live in this country and by God I'm not going to live my life like some bitter, disillusioned, sad person who doesn't even take responsibility for what they say.
It's not that things couldn't be done better. But let me tell you firsthand, that that is true the world over. And if you choose to believe that the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side, that, for you, will also be true.
Having said that, I also did a search for certain phrases in the comments. Using Google, I inserted a phrase in quotes in the search box and the EXACT same phrase came up on another blog. I did the same with another phrase from another similar comment and the same thing happened.
What you should choose to do, in case you get hit by people like that is up to you. But I for one am going to institute a rule which in all likelihood is going to get me branded as a Mini Napoleon. I will delete comments of a contentious nature IF you don't have a clickable profile which will lead to some contact information OR a blog of your own. I will ALSO delete comments which I consider to be spam. I will do what I did above to verify.
My blog is more a journal of a life and I certainly don't want to get myself OR my readers (limited though they may be) down over something that I do not believe THIS blog is equipped to handle. I may start another blog airing my opinions over other issues, but that is in the future and yet to be determined.
