Critique, review and personal happiness

By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy

It’s amazing how most people look at life.

It’s almost like our happiness is predicated on someone else’s actions. If someone says or does something wrong (wrong in our eyes) we feel unhappy/cheated/hurt/disappointed etc.

Why is this?

I mean, we all subscribe to the notion that we are individuals in charge of our own destiny (by the grace of God). So why is it that we ALLOW other people to have this power over us?

For example, I wrote the critique/review of “Pygmalion.” (See post dated 23 Oct 2005).

I also posted it on Kakiseni (http:/www.kakiseni.com) under my own name of course. I feel that the opinion is pretty much worthless if you don’t back it up with your own name. That of course, is a whole other issue.

Anyways, the “review” got a stinging reply from someone by the given name of “NUMS.” To all intents and purposes he/she sounded very defensive and hurt.

The question is, why did they allow me (a solitary audience member who feels that if I sit in that seat that I have the right  of comment) to get to them like that. They sounded like they took it very personally and that meant they must have been close to the play/musical somehow.

In any case, I need to do what I feel is right (according to my conscience) and them feeling defensive or taking it personally is not going to stop me from saying my piece. I feel I phrased the review very politely and civilly. In a very balanced manner. But yet, he/she took offence. And he/she will probably continue doing so.

He/she MUST realise that they cannot stop people having their own opinion so why even waste energy by taking it personally and being defensive against something that is inevitable. People will have their own thoughts and comments.

I agree people should learn to phrase reviews nicely because at the end of the day, bitchy and caustic reviews do not pass on the message that they espouse. People’s defensive walls come up and that’s it! But on the other side, people need to learn how accept critique which is uncomfortable as well.

Otherwise how do we improve as people or as performers?