By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
Oh mah goodness, oh mah goodness...it's been a munthh...
Reading Chris's blog and even with his busy schedule - holidaying and jetsetting - he somehow finds time to write something, sort of made me think. Maybe I should jot down some thoughts for the new month of May too.
Reread my blogs of a month ago and remembered that part of the reason that I didn't want to write anything was because the death of the pups was very upsetting. However, since then we've been watching the little ones grow into beautiful little dogs, each with their own personality, and I must admit that perhaps it was a blessing in disguise and nature usually knows what to do.
Why I say this is because, even when they were small it was very difficult to make sure that all 5 were accorded space at the "milk bar." Abby has about 9 working teats but when she lies down, the pups don't always have access to all of them. At any one time only 5 are usually exposed.
The 3 little boys grew faster in terms of body size and personality but the little girls are just now coming into their own. They're waddling everywhere now, and with each day comes extra stability. Really cute!
The biggest fellow is a boy and he looks EXACTLY like this.
The Malaysian Kennel Association just called and they are going to have microchip implants and their vaccinations next week or so. Just in time for viewing.
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
I keep on instinctively wanting to blame someone.
I know I shouldn't but I do. 4 dead pups. I feel like I'm to blame too. For allowing Abby to have her pups.
I know God has his reasons but it's difficult to put it all down to faith at a time like this. Poor Abby!
I also realise I'm anthropomorphising a dog but when she's as intelligent as Abby is, it's hard to avoid.
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
It's been almost 4 hours since Abby began her labour and the process of giving birth to her puppies.
I've definitely been anxious and it's been a lesson in humility and faith. Humility because I cannot for one second believe that God does not exist in those little creatures. Faith because the last two, of seven, were still born.
That curious mixture of joy and sorrow is one that I'm slowly allowing into my being. Watching Abby trying her very best to revive her two little ones was enervating as it was piteous. It was the realisation that a mother does not give up even when conventional wisdom tells her that it's not possible anymore.
I've recently reread The Chronicles of Narnia from cover to cover again for the 7th or 8th time. I can't remember. But the wonder of childbirth still overcomes that of death.
Sigh... another dead. For a fleeting moment they are given to the world and I guess God had his reasons.
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
We didn't get the shop in Bangsar Village.
Somewhat disappointed, but we know that God has his plan for us so we're not troubled by it. Things have a habit of working out for the best.
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
After an interminable period (approximately 10 months) of self indulgence, I finally decided to get back to the gym again. I finally decided to "get real" and go with some negative motivation to get myself going.
I basically want to look good! It'll be hard work to get a body like this, but at least it's a target to work towards. Hey, so sue me for being shallow!
But I also do want to make sure that by the time I'm 41 I can still go ski, dive, and do all the physical things I love to do AS WELL AS eat!
Frankly, I've felt very heavy and even walking up the stairs at home has been an effort.
Just 3 weeks of being back at the gym, and I'm beginning to feel how fun it is and damned if i don't feel good after the workout. Hopefully, my addictive personality won't drive me to being an endorphin junkie. Yeah RIGHT!
I've set some goals and some objectives and I'm working towards them. The dive trip in July is my first big checkpoint. So I'll write then about how I did and whether or not I attained my targets.
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
My GOD!
Its been almost 2 months since I've written a damn thing!
"Mentally, girding my loins" to start again. Sorry, Chris, I thought that was such a wonderful Freudian image I could not resist purloining it. I'll give you credit for it though! :-)
Golly gosh! So much has gone on. Where do I start?
Let's see...let's start from...neededtodoproposalfornewshopandhandinbeforeweleftfor
australiawhichwasthreeweeksoffabulousfunandthenwecamebackandhadtocatchupwith
3weeksworthofworkallthewhiletryingtoputmynewresolutionofgettingfitintopractice
withregularsessionsatFitnessFirst.
Allan and I are also going to have a chat with the Englian people this afternoon to hopefully *fingers crossed* finalise things for our first ever shop. We're very excited but nervous at the same time.
My life in a nutshell.
Why is talking to parents so difficult?
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
The Gen.2 is launched.
How do you pronounce that?
Is it "Jen 2" or "Jen dot 2" or "Gen (as in "Gun") Dua" or is it...omigod, we're going to have fun with this name.
Fun with the name aside, it looks like a really good small car.
All my cynical instincts tell me to wait for the other shoe to drop but I'm just going to enjoy this feeling of pride I have in our Proton.
I think they have a very special car on their hands.
Let's hope the market thinks so too.
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
Tis true.
If you fall off the wagon of regularly updating your blog, even if it's a short note, time just whizzes by before you ever make another entry.
Ah well...
Rabbit Proof Fence - The Stolen Generations
Allan and I "pak tored" on Monday and were going to watch "The Last Samurai." It turned out, of course, that the only seats available were in the front row of the cinema. So we cast around for another movie to watch.
We chose "Rabbit Proof Fence."
I'd heard of it before but neither of us really knew the story.
When we left the cinema however, I think we were as shell shocked as the rest of the cinema going crowd.
"Rabbit Proof Fence" was a true story of the "Stolen Generations."
"The Stolen Generations" refers to a period in Australia's VERY recent history when the government of the day enacted the Aborigines Act which basically authorised a "Protector" of the Aborigines to forcibly remove aboriginal children from their families and integrate them into white society with white mores and values.
It was shocking.
Words cannot describe the cruelty inflicted on a people whose sin it was to be different.
The absolute worst thing was that the "Protector" played by Kenneth Branagh (who was his usual best) was actually not what you would call a bad person. He was motivated by good intentions and believed, chillingly, that he was doing right by these people.
There was one line in the movie that summed it all up. "We've got to help them despite themselves."
After seeing that, I now fully believe that the Australian Government owes the Aboriginal people a full and unequivocal apology.
CNY Blues
Heart to Hearts
Cooking for Mei Leng
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
My reply to a blogger in the UK who kept a blog before they were called blogs. His name is P. Check his site out at http://www.thatp.com
He's writing about a friend of his who was gay but came out as straight recently.
Hey P
Long time no chat. But what you've experienced and what we've been seeing in a friend of ours has sort of parallels.
I agree with your last paragraph and you're absolutely spot on there. But I think the reason that most people find it hard to believe is because you always put what you hear into the context of your own experiences.
And as far as I know, while it's becoming easier to come out, it still is, for most people, a long, hard road. So from that point of view, the question becomes, if it was so hard to do in the first place, and you are now socially "unacceptable" would it be easier for you just to go back into the closet?
Having said that, I am just playing devil's advocate. I've come to believe that for those who are more enlightened, being gay or straight is really more a requirement of our society to categorise.
If we look at it as just 2 souls falling in love/like with each other, what does it really matter what sex they are. Just that most men couldn't stomach the idea of having sex with other men because of social conditioning.
More power to your friend, the formerly gay man! ;-) I hope he finds true happiness.
Love and happy Chinese New Year
Nigel
From Malaysia
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
I absolutely DETEST the phrase "Straight acting."
What one earth is that supposed to mean? And do gay men actually stop to think about it?
I suppose it stems from a desire to encapsulate a behavioural pattern and associate oneself with a particular group of individuals who, because they don't LOOK gay, are perceived to be NOT gay!
What an absolute load of kaka!
I've known straight men who are comfortable with themselves who behave "softly" and gay men (and this is a huge turn off no matter what the personals say) who will associate themselves behaviourally with a bunch of red necks chawing baccy! And frankly, I couldn't give a damn!
Ooo, shades of Rhett Butler.
I've seen personals list that as an "attribute." I've seen it being referred to in reference to gay men in a supposedly academic paper (where it's more excusable because it referred to how gay men saw themselves) and I've heard some gay men talk about it proudly. Gag!
I wonder why people just aren't happy being themselves. If it gives you comfort to flap your arms and wrists, do so! If it gives you comfort to readjust yourself in public ( you know where) then do so. If you want to go bake a cake then do so. Who the bloody hell cares? I don't. I certainly don't have the time to entertain particular notions of a person being who they're SUPPOSED to be.
Be yourself!
I admit I'm a work in progress and one of Allan's cousin's called me "contradictory." I think he meant that sometimes what I thought and what I did were not always consistent. Well, there we have it. I'm contradictory and proud of it!
"Straight acting."
You spend all this time getting you head wrapped around the fact that you're gay, and then the minute you accept that, you spend all this time trying to convince people you're not! AND, here's the clincher, they're actually proud and relieved they're not, like, OMUHGOD, "faggy."
Good God! It just begs the question, if you're SO hung up on being straight why even BOTHER coming out in the first place. Go do what all closet homos do and get married!
Then call yourself "Straight Acting." I'm off to bake a cake!
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
I love flirting! ;-)
I think part of the thrill of being with Allan is that he and I flirt very well together. Obviously, we usually only indulge when we're on our own. Don't want people gagging with too much pda!
I flirt with friends, girls, hmmm, sounds like I flirt with anything that moves! Wonder if that's why the fish stop swimming when I come into the room! ;-)
It's been a bit of an up and down week. Was hit with some unknown bug at the beginning of the week and was down for the count till Wednesday.
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
Some of my friends must think me awfully presumptious.
Sometimes when I say things I couch it in language which makes people think that I know what's best for them. I don't mean to sound like I'm TELLING someone to do something.
I do however, need to find ways to present things that make it more palatable for people to accept. Else my intentions are not communicated. Which defeats the entire purpose of saying something in the first place.
I must admit that I do care about that. But not in a way people might think.
I've learnt to be very direct with my feelings, and one thing I've promised myself is to say what's on my mind and in my heart and not hold back. I try and couch it in as diplomatic a tone as possible but I've learnt that sometimes you just need to say what you need to say.
I am determined not to have people who are important to me pass from my life with the regret that I did not tell a person "I love you" just because I was embarassed to do so.
Or to have someone misunderstand my intentions toward them.
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
Let's see. As I sit here listening to a cockroach trying to crawl it's way up out of the bin, where I just zapped it with Shelltox, I am somewhat amazed at the number of things that have come to pass in the last week.
1. Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King - Watch our for a future installment
2. Wine tasting at Asiaeuro
3. Dad's Surprise 70th
4. Dad's actual birthday
5. Christmas Eve
6. Christmas Day
7. Yeen's Pre Wedding dinner
8. Yeen's & Will's and Ryan's & Yee Ping's wedding dinners
9. Bar Sa Vahn
10. Meeting new people and getting to know others
11. My cousin's ill health - very poorly
I think I'll leave it at that. Whew!
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
The Return of the King is one of the most powerful and faithful cinematic renditions of a book I have ever had the privilege of watching.
I just read the review in The Star. S.B. Toh writes.
First, he compares The Return of the King to Braveheart!
Braveheart is a biopic. Sort of. LOTR-ROTK is surrealistic fantasy.
Second, he actually says "... is Mr Jackson's massive and decent adaptation rife with homoeroticism?"
Say WHAT?!
Am I supposed to give him leeway because he said "decent adaptation?"
He goes on to add "Not that I have a problem with that, mind."
GOD! I'm so eternally grateful we've got an enlightened critique here. I should just fall on my knees thanking and praising the Lord because this moron has no problems with homoeroticism.
Men obviously can't be tender with each other without accusations of homoeroticism cropping up. Or so the knowledgeable Mr Toh believes.
The fact that he brought it up illustrates beautifully what sort of filters we wear when we watch a movie. Which is probably why most of us can't agree with anything. But it get's better....
"The third and final instalment is a movie for the metrosexual in us, in the way it alternates between tender male bonding moments and vigourous testosterone-fuelled postures."
Mr Toh, do us all a favour and get your mind out of your crotch and try and think for a change. Oh yes, AND do SOME homework. Or maybe I know no better and that is indeed optional when we write a story for a major English daily in Malaysia?
Tolkien's book, when taken at face value, like 90% of us do, is a fantastic read. It has parts which could charitably be called, ponderous. But the entire style of the book switches from pastoral to stylised and back again without you realising it until you've finished all 3 tomes. But in my humble opinion, the fact that warriors do fall back on each other during times of battle, for support, and yes, for platonic love does not make it homoerotic. Except perhaps in Mr Toh's most fevered imaginings.
Further on in his "critique," if it could be called that, he goes on to mention that Tolkien's saga is many things, among them, an elegy for a passing era of nobility as represented by the elves, making way for the bourgeousie as represented by the era of the mortal man, and an "escape into the tranquility of pastoral England as a reaction against rampant industrialisation at the time.
Well, Mr Toh, I must certainly say that you seem to know Tolkien intimately, to have the arrogance to actually speculate on the great author's state of mind while writing this "critique."
With his closing paragraph, he continues to miss the point with "...the painted on mask and the bunting on his flanks, he is but a Beijing Opera performer remodelled," in reference to the mahout on the Oliphaunt.
But that IS the whole point! When you read the book you realised that the way it is written seems to signify a highly stylised dance, chase and fight, in parts. If that isn't opera, what is?
And with a final flourish of martyrdom, he closes "But pay no heed, please, Enjoy."
You're right Mr Toh. At long last!
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
And here we are.
On the cusp of another Christmas and New Year.
It's almost as if, all the stuff that happened this year were on some accelerated time scale.
I remember Chinese New Year this year...and then it was exactly like a DVD movie being fast forwarded scene by scene. And next thing, I'm sitting here writing this blog, sparing time I don't have.
I'm not complaining. I'm just observing with morbid astonishment how time can fly when you're busy.
Allan and I have finally fallen into some form of routine and being partners as well as business partners can take its toll.
But I think we're coping with it very well and trying to build a life together is a goal which figures largely in my list of priorities. I have told him that the business is all well and good but if push came to shove I'd leave the business to protect our relationship. He's my heart and conscience and there's no way I'm going to risk that.
My Dad's 70th birthday is coming up and we're in the throes of organising it at the moment. We've got all the hard stuff ready for the weekend. Like Wine, Whisky, 1 bottle of Tequila, and food. Canopies and decorations are taken care of as well.
Looking forward to it.
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
Got a frantic (ok, I'm embellishing) phone call from Angie on Friday.
Apparently, they'd left it to quite the last minute and it turned out that tickets for the Phillips International Jazz Festival thingy were sold out.
Quite coinkidinkally, at the time I received the call, I was just heading out to pick Paul up and go prep for the bbq and at the back of my mind was this thing about picking up tickets for the show.
A couple of quick phone calls later and tickets secured, Angie was I believe, relieved and reassured that they wouldn't be coming up to KL for nothing. She mentioned that 4 people would be coming with her. More on that later.
The BBQ on Friday night was lovely and we even had a bit of a sing along with Lew on the Piano and Paul videoing (is that a word?) us.
Saturday night was the clincher though.
I was running late, as is my wont, and when I almost breathlessly ran into the shop, Angie and her 4 boys were waiting there. Thank God they had just arrived and were sampling our rum balls.
And here's the rub...I hadn't expected her boys to be so young. I should mention at this point that I think Angie's done a marvelous job in promoting young talent in A cappella. The average age interested in A cappella in Singapore is WAY lower than what it is here. Angie actually goes to schools to do workshops and teach. Fantastic! What a passion!
Angie's lads', as they shall forever be called, were well mannered, polite, and mature beyond their years. Really fun to hang with. Allan loved it. I don't think I've ever mentioned before but Allan has an affinity for youth. He knows how to relate to them and he's unflinching when it comes to the truth. Which I think they appreciate. Rather than talking down to them, he knows how to talk with them. A very great difference and something I admire in him. As he puts it "treat them like adults."
Bryant, Jer (so nicknamed because there was another "Jeremy"), Jeremy, and Hao Ren had this Acappella group with another who could not make it this time round. The name; SWAT! They told me what it stood for but damned if I can remember now.
After the relative fiasco of the Jazz Festival which was anything but, we all went out and had supper. They loved our Rum Balls so we promised to get some to them the next day, Sunday.
By the time they were dropped off at the Bus station on Sunday, I think we had made some fast friends and I know I for one, thoroughly enjoyed their company. From Angie to the boys. I also know that Allan and I are looking forward to seeing them again in the not too distant future. We're in the process of thinking about going to Singapore to perform and hopefully the next time we see them, we will be doing just that.
Hmmm, that Jazz Festival.
Everyone I met felt that the Jazz Festival was misnamed. It should have been something like "Concert In the Park." After Idea of North opened it was downhill all the way. Did I mention that Idea of North were absolutely superb? As good as our benchmark, The Song Company. And I'd love to learn how to use mikes.
As I mentioned, after Idea of North, came Krakatau. World Music by any charitable definition. Then Camellia. hmmm. Ballads anyone? Then Ning. To my mind, there was this HUGE break from any sort of Jazz music until we got to Ning, who did well but she's really more a Soul and R&B singer. The Sheila came on and saved the day and promptly went on to this group called Silk. World Music again. The night finished with Anggun who by dint of her star power and vamping saved the night. But was she jazz? NO!
I have half a mind to write to Philips and Light & Easy, the sponsoring radio station and point that out.
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
Allan and I were just running through our schedules for the next few weeks.
Surprise, surprise, surprise (as made famous by Gomer Pyle ), it turns out that our next few months were totally mapped out.
Sigh! On the one hand I love being busy. On the other hand, I sometimes feel like events run away with us.
Our friend Chris is in Sydney for a job interview. All the best babe!
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
Wow!
It's so easy to let things slide and the next thing you know it's days and weeks since you last blogged.
Let's start at Raya.
Great fun! Went to 2 open houses - Dian's & Ina's and my cousin's - and ate ourselves silly. What's new? I'm inflating again. I can feel it and see it. Time to get back to the gym. I know I keep on saying this but there's this visceral urge coming on again.
Sigh...it's a constant battle to keep a, well, somewhat "girlish" figure! ;-)
The best part was meeting up with Chas Sweeting at Dian's & Ina's open house. How surprised was I when he walked in. He's someone I knew when I was in boarding school in the UK. Being junior to me, you didn't keep company with the sprogs too much. It was unseemly, according to the warped hierarchy of the time. But he's a really nice bloke. And girls, and some guys I'm sure, consider him good looking! ;-) Very active in snow boarding and all sorts of action oriented sports has kept him fit. Exchanged numbers, emails etc and have vowed to get together for a potluck or something.
After Raya, The Pitches upped and went down to Singapore sans 3 of our merry band. At the last minute too. I was rather peeved about 1 of them especially because there was absolutely enough time to get some administrative work done before they left. And there didn't seem to be a concerted effort in that direction. But hey, it was their right to do so!
Fabulous weekend of shopping, eating and just hanging out with people you love. What could be better!
The reason for going was really to attend the Swingle Singers concert. I was severely "underwhelmed." There were some highlights. And I had fun. But I've heard better.
We also took the opportunity to meet up with Angie Choo, who is the President of the Acappella Society of Singapore. She was absolutely lovely and I totally liked her the moment I met her. I know Allan did too. Having sung Dahil Saiyo, which in retrospect was really not that great a song to sing when you're in front of a group for the first time, we were warmly welcomed and sat with them for a run through of "Only You."
All of a sudden though, I see everyone walking for the door. I was like "SHIT!" and followed suit. Turns out that a couple of our merry band had other commitments and wanted to leave.
I know that a few of us felt really bad for walking out of the Vocal Jam so precipitously and I shall apologise to her when I see her next. Which hopefully, is in the next week or so. She's coming up for the Philips International Jazz Festival with some friends.
Lovely to make new friends.
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
Why do people wait until the eleventh and a half hour before they order anything???
Everyone knew Raya was coming up next week. But noooo, they have to wait till Friday evening before they even begin to consider WHAT to order for friends and family!
People, it's a long weekend. Most Malay muslim families are going to be on holiday cum Saturday 21 to 22nd of November. If people take just 3 working days off, they get the entire week.
Guess what? I think that many of them have done that! So asking us to deliver cakes on Monday is going to be an exercise in futility.
But the businessman in me says, hey, if you want to do it, I still will try to accomodate! ;-)
One of the sweetest things in a business like this is that you get to mingle with people who are usually celebrating something.
Yesterday, a lady, let's call her Mrs Lim (not her real name) called and ordered a cake. Her husband saw me doing a song and dance routine at the Kelana Jaya Rotary Club - not literally you understand; I have no wish to e the elephant in the pink tutu from "Fantasia" - and he asked his wife to order a cake from us for their 26th wedding anniversary.
Mrs Lim tells me that in the 26 years they have been married, this is one of the VERY few times he has actually remembered their anniversary and she was literally bubbling over with excitement. She called at least 3 times to clarify her order.
I felt as fuzzy as Abby's ears. And almost as warm.
On a more sombre and sad note however, my cousin's wife's father passed away. I suppose you could call him my uncle. I spoke to her today and expressed my condolences. But what with work commitments and rushing about yesterday, I totally could not attend his funeral and cremation.
Sigh! I felt sooo bad!
Anyway, she was very understanding and frankly, she was taking it all very well. The father was about 80ish, so he had had a long life. And I guess that was what was keeping them going.
We're in the business of celebrating life. But sometimes you get reminded that without that stepping stone we call death, there would be very little to celebrate in the here and now. In a way I think the mortality that we face conditions us to watch ourselves and celebrate the moments.
By Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy
Hmmmm...
How the hell did that arabic get into my last post?
Oh well...I think I was never meant to put those thoughts down or to complete that blog so I'm just going to start a new one. Tried to post it twice but the first time the electricity went off before I could post and the second time, this happens.
Onward ho!
This weekend was a mad mad weekend. We have a relatively large order going out tomorrow and it was one of those weekends where we had to work Saturday, Sunday, AND our usual day off, Monday!
I'm not complaining mind you.
Orders are coming in for the Raya boxes and as Martha Stewart says, "that's a really, really good thing." For those of you who read "Martha Stewart Living" and Weddings, you'll know what I mean.
My Mum, Allan's Mum, Sarm Yee, Tai Yee, Ng Yee, Yue Ling, and sundry other warm and able bodied people came over to help which took a lot of the pressure off the both of us.
Having said that, this is still a stressful time of the year for both of us. And I really need to try to control my temper. Say no more!
It's now 9.11pm according to my computer clock and I'm off to watch Scooby Doo and take a break. Minus the kit kat. But that Lemon Meringue Pie in the fridge is another story!
