I keep on instinctively wanting to blame someone.
I know I shouldn't but I do. 4 dead pups. I feel like I'm to blame too. For allowing Abby to have her pups.
I know God has his reasons but it's difficult to put it all down to faith at a time like this. Poor Abby!
I also realise I'm anthropomorphising a dog but when she's as intelligent as Abby is, it's hard to avoid.
It's been almost 4 hours since Abby began her labour and the process of giving birth to her puppies.
I've definitely been anxious and it's been a lesson in humility and faith. Humility because I cannot for one second believe that God does not exist in those little creatures. Faith because the last two, of seven, were still born.
That curious mixture of joy and sorrow is one that I'm slowly allowing into my being. Watching Abby trying her very best to revive her two little ones was enervating as it was piteous. It was the realisation that a mother does not give up even when conventional wisdom tells her that it's not possible anymore.
I've recently reread The Chronicles of Narnia from cover to cover again for the 7th or 8th time. I can't remember. But the wonder of childbirth still overcomes that of death.
Sigh... another dead. For a fleeting moment they are given to the world and I guess God had his reasons.
We didn't get the shop in Bangsar Village.
Somewhat disappointed, but we know that God has his plan for us so we're not troubled by it. Things have a habit of working out for the best.
After an interminable period (approximately 10 months) of self indulgence, I finally decided to get back to the gym again. I finally decided to "get real" and go with some negative motivation to get myself going.
I basically want to look good! It'll be hard work to get a body like this, but at least it's a target to work towards. Hey, so sue me for being shallow!
But I also do want to make sure that by the time I'm 41 I can still go ski, dive, and do all the physical things I love to do AS WELL AS eat!
Frankly, I've felt very heavy and even walking up the stairs at home has been an effort.
Just 3 weeks of being back at the gym, and I'm beginning to feel how fun it is and damned if i don't feel good after the workout. Hopefully, my addictive personality won't drive me to being an endorphin junkie. Yeah RIGHT!
I've set some goals and some objectives and I'm working towards them. The dive trip in July is my first big checkpoint. So I'll write then about how I did and whether or not I attained my targets.
My GOD!
Its been almost 2 months since I've written a damn thing!
"Mentally, girding my loins" to start again. Sorry, Chris, I thought that was such a wonderful Freudian image I could not resist purloining it. I'll give you credit for it though! :-)
Golly gosh! So much has gone on. Where do I start?
Let's see...let's start from...neededtodoproposalfornewshopandhandinbeforeweleftfor
australiawhichwasthreeweeksoffabulousfunandthenwecamebackandhadtocatchupwith
3weeksworthofworkallthewhiletryingtoputmynewresolutionofgettingfitintopractice
withregularsessionsatFitnessFirst.
Allan and I are also going to have a chat with the Englian people this afternoon to hopefully *fingers crossed* finalise things for our first ever shop. We're very excited but nervous at the same time.
My life in a nutshell.
Why is talking to parents so difficult?
